無常

有時的感應並非是件好事.

下午突然想念起久未見面的老朋友.不過一陣子手機響了.以為是媽打來的.卻意外地看見屏幕上顯示著她的名字!

其實這種感應不是第一次了.但這一次卻聽到了令人沮喪的消息...

她告訴我我們從前的大哥哥患了末期腦癌...聽了震驚萬分.
他還那麼年輕啊...尚有年幼的孩子...最重要的是,他是個難得的音樂天才兼好人.
為什麼病魔總愛纏上好人???而那些魔鬼竟然逍遙法外......

打電話給他的表弟也是我久未聯繫的老友問候他的近況.他說他做了數次的化療.情況有些好轉.聽後感到安慰...但願情況繼續樂觀...

從小我的身體就一直出現異於常人的狀況.再隨著年紀的增長,偶爾身體稍有不適就胡思亂想覺得自己隨時就會掛掉.所以我常跟老友們說你們要珍惜眼前人尤其是我哦.他們當然罵我神經病啦呵呵.不過我是認真那麼以為的!

親愛的朋友們,恕我平時鮮少聯繫或邀約你們.你們也都知道我這個人在某種程度上是極其不積極及懶惰的.但我保證心裡一直都有你們.若有一天我突然致電邀約你們喝茶,你們一定要賞臉哦!因為那表示我心中有你!

冀

弟弟打來的一通電話又成就了我的返檳大計啦 ～

真是振奮人心啊 ～ ！

趕緊致電通知媽順便跟她下訂腐竹薏米糖水。

真期待啊 ～

這個星期有目標了！

感覺上好像好久沒回家了 ～

上個星期沒能返鄉隨隊掃墓心感絲絲愧疚。

只好安慰自己有心就好 ～

這幾天還可真是清明時節雨紛紛吶 ～

三月才剛要結束，我已開始為八月愁了。

也許生活實在太無聊了 ～

連續好幾年沒在家鄉渡過生日了。

去年在港慶生時告訴自己今年就留在檳城吧 ~

可現在突發奇想又不想留在大馬了。

Hmm。。。計劃仍在揣摩當中 ～～～

無論到時身在何處，與誰人共渡，

就算是一個人的生日晚餐，

只冀望今年比往年美好！

My Kayu Life

It's another rainy weekend. Thought can enjoy my dinner at Kayu mamak but ended up rushing back to home due to raining, again. For how many times I couldn't enjoy my dinner there due to bad weather! Frustrated! >.<

I try to cut down my visit to Kayu mamak these days as have been complaining by my family & some friends. Not only gaining weight by eating oily & fat-rich foods, the most importantly is I've got much more pimples lately thus I usually will go there on weekends now. This is good for me cos besides cutting down fat usage, I can save up $ as having meals at Kayu is costly but one thing which I like is I can spend my relaxed time there as how long as I wish cos almost all of Kayu staffs are familiar with me this regular customer & they won't bother how long I sit there nor chasing me away. Needless to say, I'll definitely let other customers take the place if it's crowded.

I managed to enjoy a night there yesterday after absent for a while. Thank Buddha cos I had nowhere to go during 8:30-9:30pm earth hour hurhur. I tried to endure my hunger until 8pm. Spent time at Kayu for more than an hour alone like an idiot but I did have a good time. ^^ The staffs let me enjoying myself as usual & gave me warm smiles whenever they passed by my table. Had relaxed moment as usual until my next table occupied by an old indian couples. They kept looking (observing maybe :p) at me at all times. To the staffs, it's normal for them to see me go alone rather than having friend's company. Each time when I went with friends, they kept looking at me with strange faces. :D

I used to enjoy my meals alone since I was young so I don't really care what people think about me but still I will feel a little uncomfortable especially when I am in KL. Perhaps am feeling insecure here ~

Within 2 years, I can see the turnover rate of mamak workers & I respect those staffs who are hardworking & customer-oriented minded. Some staffs are damn lazy! Recently, there's a roti canai sifu which I like back to his hometown (most of them are from Bangladesh & India) & I was quite disappointed cos the roti canai that he makes are yummy! The current sifu is not as skillful as him but I found that he improved a lot within 1 or 2 months however the roti he makes is much oily! This kills me! I may need to re-consider the numbers of my visit again ~ !

Quarter Update

And the 1st quarter of 2010 is almost over ~ Everything has come too fast & ended in a glimpse of eye as well... So far I have had a busy but contented first quarter. Jan was a slow-paced month while Feb was a hectic month with lots of activities due to chinese new year. This CNY was one of the greatest CNYs for me.

Last weekend was the most idle weekend in 9 weeks and I somewhat couldn't get used to it. Didn't update my blog as I was a little tiring due to having nightmares almost every night! Everything was in a mess for the past week ~ This weekend is getting much better ~ ;)

I've got backache since about 2 months ago and couldn't even fall asleep at some nights due to the ache. Told my mum about the issue and she asked me consult doctor as it might be something wrong with my kidney. Fortunately, the situation has become better and I am no longer that painful now ~ Amitabha ~ Nevertheless, I've got another worry just after a few days ~ My leg was somehow cramped while joining company's bowling activity. It alarms me about my health after so many issues happened! I admit that I always omit my health and it seems that age does really matter... I have to keep myself healthy from now on!

雨後

雨終於快要停了.
一兩個小時前突然下了一場大雨.
加重了我原已沉重的心情.

我不喜歡雨天.
因為那會使我變得更多愁善感.
綿綿細雨偶爾能為我洗滌內心的煩悶.
傾盆豪雨卻只會增添我的思鄉愁緒.

肚子也開始餓了.
晚餐的時間也到了.
今晚想去KAYU嘛嘛檔.
靜靜地享用依舊是一個人的晚餐.

大雨過後,
我如常祈願一切雨後春筍, 雨過天晴.

防空洞

所以說, 雪隆的周末始終不是我的朋友.
稍放慢腳步, 就能感受到一股強烈的落寞感.
但我不想出門, 也不想以睡覺打發時間.
因為我更不想白白地渡過難得的周末.

然而在那麼小的空間裡我能做的事情實在有限.
我住的地方既沒有客廳讓我看電視亦無廚房供我鍛煉廚藝.
我能做的就只能對著電腦的屏幕或扭開收音機抑或翻閱雜誌.
也許該繼續對向好友借來的幾本書著手了.
不然可憐的它們不知要躺在我的小房間裡到什麼時候.

這兩年來我覺得我好像是屬於個體的.
偶爾甚至有想要自我封閉的想法.
說實在的, 其實一直都已習慣一個人生活.
過往的我總是享受一個人的空間.
享受一個人吃飯, 一個人逛街, 一個人旅行 ~
只是近一兩年來的我發現自己越老越怕孤單 ~

我還蠻贊同好友的嫂嫂所說的一句話.
三十是過渡期.
有位朋友也說他那跟我同齡的女友也有類似我的憂鬱.
原來是這樣啊? 真是這樣嗎?
若真如是, 我大可放心了.

這兩年多以來, 我盡量做自己喜歡及一直想做的事.
因為連自己都不知道明天的我會身在何處.
也因為我不再有任何掛牽.
不必為任何人停駐.
我只管跟隨自己的步伐.
開心的時候覺得這樣的自己反而更像自己 ~
所以我寧可讓自己不停地忙碌以防不明來物侵襲內心的空洞.

ll PAUSE ll

I didn't expect friends from other races would interested on my blog. What a surprise. Hah. Writing in english has not been easy for me. My english expression ability is only one third of my chinese level. One thing which is good is my english typing speed is perhaps two third of my chinese typing skill. Thus draw. Well, it's no harm to try. ;) Though you may feel bored reading my english articles. :p Alright then, I will make this blog more diversified!

And the day I like the most in a week soon will arrive. This coming weekend will be a quiet week for me. After hectic weeks in a row, I can finally take a good rest on this weekend. I feel I can breathe a little more but at the same time I somehow feel aimless ~ Oops... I guess I have lost my pace.

The pause doesn't seem too good for me at the moment especially when I am away from my home sweet home. Ohhhh now I miss my hometown, again. I admit I am still like a little kid each time mentioning this topic. Sometimes I feel wanna cry just because of too missing certain thing or person in Penang. I think I am kinda funny & a little crazy cos actually I go back quite frequent. XD

Well, laptop (internet) & radio (channel) are my close friends during my weekends here. I try not to go out that often as everything is expensive out there. I'd rather save $ for my future tours. & my current mission is saving for my Taiwan trip in May. ArghhhHH, struggling for my pocket again! Damn ~ ! I keep repeating this kind of lifestyle in recent years yet feeling happy in this way. I gained a lot and I feel I improve each day. I feel real good.